I just graduated high school June 4th 2011.


 

I just graduated high school June 4th 2011. I thought it would be okay to have fun for a change and drink a little with my boyfriend of three years. I think that is the night I conceived my baby.
 
For about a month and a half I did not know I was with child. On June 28 2011 my sister who is very promiscuous, my boyfriend, his friend and I went to the beach. We all drank and my boyfriend and sister slept together.
 
When we got back home I moved out of the house that my sister lived in. I moved in with my grandparents, I lost the rest of my family because I stayed with my boyfriend.
 
A couple weeks after I moved I started getting very bad cramps and I thought my period was just late because of the stress. I told my best friend about it all, and she convinced me to take a pregnancy test. It came out positive July 19, 2011.
 
I called my boyfriend right when I found out and he would not talk to me that whole night. The next day he told me his mom made me an appointment for an abortion on July 26th.
 
I was so upset, but I would and still will do anything to keep him. We talked about it a little and he said if I didn’t abort my baby he would leave me. I told him I wanted her and he yelled at me to get out of his house, so I said sorry until he forgave me.
 
On July 26th the abortion clinic called and said that they had an emergency that day and they were rescheduling my appointment for the next day.
 
July 27, 2011 I got into the clinic. My boyfriend took me and made sure I had half the amount to pay for it so that I would feel it was my decision too. I sat in the corner of the room with tears streaming down my face and I looked to my left and he was on his phone talking to friends.
 
Everyone in the clinic nurses, and the other patients seemed to be so happy. We sat and waited until 10:30am [when] the nurse called my name back. I sat in the waiting room as one baby after another was murdered. At 12:06am my baby was killed...
 
I took the first pill after they did the sonogram. Then the nurse gave me 10 pills to insert the days to come. My boyfriend laid beside me when I had to take them. It hurt so bad!
He does not like talking about it and my family does not know about anything. His whole family knows and always wants to talk about it.
 
My grandparents are Catholic, and in November I have to go to an anti-abortion dinner with my grandparents.
 
My boyfriend yells at me when I get depressed which seems to be a lot. I cry when I see a baby, a kid, a car seat, anything.
 
I want my baby back. I regret everything I have done. I just want to know what my baby’s hands and feet would look like. If she/he would have looked like me.
 
I want to have a baby, and maybe the baby you have after the abortion is the soul you killed. A lady at my check up after the abortion told me that, and that’s all I can think of.
Finally my boyfriend told me today Oct. 23 2011 that he regrets what we did. All I could do was stare at him with water building up in my eyes.
 
Abortion takes away a life, and only the people who have went through an abortion can say if it was right for them or not. For myself I thought it was wrong before and after I did it. If it was a boy his name would have been Adan, if my baby was a girl Sophia. 
I will always remember the exact day and time I killed my baby. And I am so sorry for what I have done.