I don't know where to begin. i'm 17 with already two abortions. I’ve been with him for 3 years and he didn't want one right now because of all these reasons. the first time i went i ran out and couldn't do it. he didn't come because he was too tired. so when i went back a week later he didn't go again because there was a funeral of his friends that he just heard of that night. i cried when it was going on because i didn't know what i wanted to do. i just knew he didn't want it at all. i would of had it June of 2010 but its not here. i cant stop thinking about it.

i had a friend who did drugs and her mom did too but she was religious. when i told her mom what i decided [about the pregnancy] she got on Google showed a lot of dead babies to me. she said i would be a murderer and would think about it all the time. she left her house and called saying she wished she never met me and she wasn't ever going to look at my face again. i am a murderer. i do think about it all the time. what’s happened is done. the first one i didn't regret. i didn't know that at 3 months all that stuff happened.

we’re still together. i'm on birth control now. i just don’t think he understands what i go through. he won’t talk about it. he tells me to shut up when i bring stories up that hurt me.