I had an abortion August 4, 2005. I was sixteen. Every year I think of it. Every week. Every time I see a child. I always wonder...would I have been a good mom? I thought afterwards I could put it behind me and move on. Forget that it ever happened. I was wrong... so unbelievably wrong. It completely changed me - inside and out. I became a different person. I still to this day have trouble trusting people, allowing myself to be close to anyone, and the urge to break down into tears over nothing. I am almost 20 years old and it still haunts me. I still feel empty inside, like something is missing. I was stupid, and ignorant.

I have tried to forgive myself. But I can't seem to. I know God has forgiven me for the terrible sin I committed but I can't seem to forgive myself. Since I was 16, I have loathed the person I see in the mirror. I do not know how to love myself again. I want to. God knows I want to. I just can't seem to move on. It's killing me.