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I got to the clinic early.

I got to the clinic early. It was a 4.5 hour drive from where I lived and 2 days after I found out I was pregnant. I had been with the father for just a couple months and he was a few years younger than me and told me "my pull out game is strong". I felt like such an idiot. So embarrassed for believing that..I'm older than him and should know better. So I got there an hour early and decided to stretch my legs and take a walk down the street. As I walked down the tree lined street on a quiet, sunny summer day I thought, "I could've been a good mother. I would've been a good mother. I would have done whatever I had to. I loved it already. It was a tiny little sac of nothing and I still would've changed everything for it. It will never see the beach. It will never see a sunrise or sunset. It will never feel the sun or breeze on it face and it will never feel a horses soft mane or smell it's sweet hay breath. It will never love, or be scared, or sad or excited. It has no future to wonder about, or be scared of or excited about." I will never know what it was capable of because I flushed it down the toilet like it was nothing.

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