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I found out I was pregnant in early December 2016.

I found out I was pregnant in early December 2016. I was so shocked that I couldn't even cry when I saw the positive test results. I had called the guy that had gotten me pregnant but his phone was busy then I had called my friend and just told her to come down to my place that it's urgent. Then the guy called me and I told him and he just started blaming me and saying that abortion is the best thing to do. At that time abortion was the ONLY thing I could I think about. I knew I wasn't ready to be a mother, I didn't want to be a mother. Up until I had my abortion I was sure that is what was best for me, I knew I couldn't cope having a child. On the 3rd of January 2017 I had my abortion, don't know what the process was because I was under a local anesthetic. My two friends had followed me, my family didn't even know. They still don't know. After the procedure I just felt relief, didn't feel guilt or shame. It wasn't until a few days ago I just started to constantly cry and feel guilty and suicidal. I know what I did was best for me but it still doesn't take away the feeling of guilt and suicidal thoughts. I just want to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and forgive myself and move on.

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