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Hello, I am 20 years old

Hello, I am 20 years old and in a loving relationship with my boyfriend, we are always careful when we have sex as although I dream of having a family I don't want to be young I want to enjoy life and go travelling before I choose to settle down. I am currently at University and it was around March 2020 that I realised my period was late. My periods are always later than expected being every 31 days, however that month it just never seemed to arrive. I waited for my boyfriend to come see me at university and I decided to take a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side, if anything we were laughing about it. After taking the test and seeing the two lines I was in shock and although I knew I wanted children I knew just deep down this wasn't the right time, if anything that was the easiest but for me, I love children and I know that I want them however I definitely do not want them now nor am I ready. I was lucky enough to have someone who supported me throughout the whole process and although it was hard he was always there. I am now on my period and it has been just over a month since the abortion, I feel confident with my decision I knew it was the right thing to do. However, I do often find myself thinking about it not from a sad perspective but more of a wow my life could've been so different and could've gone so many different ways. My period started yesterday and I found myself feeling guilty as if having this period was a reminder of what is no longer there.

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